Utah Audiences Just Want To Be Loved

The event I attended tonight had six out-of-state storytellers performing for a mostly Utah County audience. The performers were well aware of the predominant religion in the area. This type of setup often produces an interesting phenomenon. Here's how it works.

Out-of-state performer: Hmm. I wonder in what ways I need to tailor, or even censor my material? Will this audience understand worldly references, or do I need to just talk about jello and large families and BYU?

Utah audience: We're going to prove to this performer that we do understand worldly references! It's not like our predominant religion is weird or anything. Mitt Romney was almost the President! We can laugh at these jokes, because we get them and they're not too offensive. Heck, I lived out of state for two years when I was 19-21! We get these performers!

Out-of-state performer: OK, I said something about coffee and they didn't freak out. And I am getting a LOT of laughs. Maybe this audience is OK after all.

Utah audience: See? We're OK after all! And we laugh at your jokes. A LOT! We'll be the best audience you've ever performed for!

Out-of-state performer: OK, at first I was really into this audience, but now they're laughing after every single sentence I say, whether it's funny or not. I have to be polite and not point that out, but it's weird. Kind of creepy. Why are they doing this?

Utah audience: We can't stop laughing! Why are we still laughing? Is he even still talking? This is getting weird and kind of creepy. Why are we doing this? We can't stop laughing!

Seriously, I've witnessed this very thing every year of this festival--especially on the opening night. But next year we'll prove ourselves all over again!

All of my kids are officially teenagers

My oldest turned 18 last month, and my youngest turned 13 on Sunday. The one in the middle is 15 and says his life will be soooo much better when he turns 16. I'm dubious, although his life isn't too bad now.

We had a fun party for David on Saturday. Jonathan crashed on his longboard on Monday, which oddly gave him a sense of euphoria for a while. He loves his battle scars and is hoping they will give him an in with the ladies. ;) He's serious about that, but I think he's a crack up.

Over the weekend my aunt and uncle got remarried too. I'm really happy for them, and it was nice to see most of my cousins there (many of whom I hadn't seen for years), and all of my aunts and uncles from that side of the family.

My thoughts are with Blaine (my step-father) tonight. He's in the hospital recovering from heart surgery. They replaced one valve and repaired another. The surgeon says it went really well. Blaine has always had great stamina and endurance, so I expect him to come through this just fine.

Profundity

On Facebook, I introduced this blog by saying that you won't find anything profound on it. I'm serious about that. If you're reading this, expecting me to wax philosophical, or political, or something that might actually matter in the grand scheme of things, you will be sorely disappointed. You should stop reading/following this blog now. Really.

OK, are the profundity seekers gone? Good. Now I can finally share with you the meaning to life and the universe... Ha! Gotcha. Not gonna happen. No, really. Not. Gonna.

I mean, the only deep thing I'm likely to write is how deep the water was when we attempted to give the cat a bath and it tore the shower curtain and our flesh to shreds. Anything written here will be seriously boring stuff to anyone but me, and probably to me too. In fact, the only reason I write it down is so I won't forget how to spell stuff. I hope I've convinced you of the utter uselessness of reading anything written on these pages. ;)